The Real Reason I Hate 9th Gen Impalas. 

"HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles" (hondasfordsvolvo) 07/01/2017 at 00:20 • Filed to: None

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Ignore the bland exterior, the “dime a dozen” aspect, the apathetic SS version with a V8 shoved in the wrong way. No the real reason I hate them is this.

This shifter. not only is it to big and chunky,the plastic too hard and hallow, and and as solid feeling as a styrofoam glider plane. On top of all that it has no indication of what gear you might be shifting into. Yes there is a indicator in the dash, but it just seems odd that there nothing down by the shifter. I had never seen anything like this before and I hope I never do again.

Oh and the car had the same radio, and gasuge cluster as chevy’s cargo van even in SS trim.

itschrome > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 07/01/2017 at 00:24

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Yeah it weirded me out at first too. Im over it now. I never look down there any ways.

CB > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 07/01/2017 at 00:27

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SIDEWAYS V8 OR BUST.

Your boy, BJR > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 07/01/2017 at 00:34

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I mean, I hate those cars but that’s nit picky at best. 3rd click is always drive, one click up from drive is neutral, the next click up is reverse, and so on and so fourth. P R N D L is really not hard to remember.

DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 07/01/2017 at 00:34

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I’m glad I’m not the only one.

Honestly the only car to buy off of this platform at that time was the LaCrosse Super. It got the most love from GM’s performance division and was quite more “luxurious” anyway.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 07/01/2017 at 00:45

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Why anyone would want a V8 version is beyond me when the standard high-feature VVT six makes 300 hp.

My big complaint was the crappy seats, at least in 2013. I think the Malibu is a better car and I’m a die-hard Impala fan.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Your boy, BJR 07/01/2017 at 00:45

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And paddle shift buttons on the steering wheel.

Birddog > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 07/01/2017 at 00:52

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My parents own a low mileage 9g. I can forgive the shifter. I can forgive the W body roots. But the PlastiWood on the dash? That stuff is unforgivable . The dang car is seven years old. This stuff is turning to jello. It’s sticky! You can leave fingerprints in it!

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Birddog 07/01/2017 at 00:54

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Eeewww. These cars are the epitome of what was wrong with American cars from 2000-2010.

Birddog > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 07/01/2017 at 01:04

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The seeds were planted in the 1990s.

Other than the interior it’s a really good highway car. It’ll run at 80+ all day. But you’ll be welcoming the décor of the Days Inn that was last updated in the 1960s and may have bedbugs at the end of the drive.

fintail > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 07/01/2017 at 01:07

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I remember I had one of these as a rental in ATL in 2011. Brand new, 4 miles on it. I hit my head more than once on the A-pillar, couldn’t eke more than 28 mpg or so out of it, and the first night I had it, it got hit and ran (minor damage) in a hotel parking lot. It was a very 1999 feeling car. To be nice, I will say the dark red paint suited it well, and the fancier wheels made it look better.

duurtlang > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 07/01/2017 at 01:29

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I had a rental one, a 2016 Limited. Those seats were an utter joke. Uncomfortable and clad with a fabric that didn’t seem to be designed for seats but for a cheap dog mat or something. They were also way too wide for my tall but average (as in: not obese) frame. The whole car was a joke, really. Very easily the worst car I ever drove, when mileage is taken into account.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 07/01/2017 at 07:45

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To be fair, every GM car save the Cadillacs, Corvette, and LaCrosse used that same radio.

Not that I’m defending the indefensible 9th gen.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 07/01/2017 at 08:03

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That’s the problem, it’s just lazy penny pinching which is GMs bread and butter.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Birddog 07/01/2017 at 08:04

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That’s a good analogy

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 07/01/2017 at 09:27

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Because the top-end V6 at the time was the 3.9 which only chucked out 240hp. It also had 240 lb-ft, so it was a nice, beefy-feeling motor, but the V8 was a definite upgrade.

Also, because V8. No other reason needed.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 07/01/2017 at 09:38

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Tell that to Formula 1.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 07/01/2017 at 09:42

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“Formula 1, use V8's. They’re just better.”

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 07/01/2017 at 10:32

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“The engine must also have six cylinders arranged in a 90-degree formation, with two inlet and two exhaust valves per cylinder and a single turbocharger”

And rev limited to 15,000 rpm...

Since 2014.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Formula_One_engines#2014.E2.80.93present

https://www.formula1.com/en/championship/inside-f1/rules-regs/Power_Unit_and_ERS.html

boxrocket > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 07/01/2017 at 10:47

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Very much this. Don’t forget their appetite for blend door actuators (if you hear a ticking or clicking under the dash, one of the four blend door actuators broke a gear), suspension parts, radios, and headlight bulbs (thanks to idiotic DRLs).

404 - User No Longer Available > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 07/01/2017 at 12:02

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The only real reason to go for an Impala is this:

Now I’m worried about the “premium” Avalon or similar that Budget is giving me for my trip. 5 adults with international flight luggage, we’re more than likely needing to call a cab on the way to the airport.

Seriously Toyota, that’s a freakin’ joke of a trunk.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > boxrocket 07/01/2017 at 12:38

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And the blower motors, the one I drove made a horrendous noise.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 07/01/2017 at 12:43

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It’s a radio though. Look at almost any make prior to the infotainment revolution, they all use the same radios in everything. I could put an E39 radio in an E46 and vice versa. An Escape radio in a Fusion. Hell, a Gallardo and A4. It was only until the late 2000s when infotainment started being a thing that vehicles got vehicle specific radio setups.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 07/01/2017 at 12:47

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Other than whatever in it that causes the speakers to go in and out, which to be fair seems like a standard GM feature on every one I’ve ever spent time in, they function fine.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Your boy, BJR 07/01/2017 at 12:49

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Don’t forget that there is a PRNDxxx right in front of you in the gauges, so you don’t even need to look at the shifter.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 07/01/2017 at 12:57

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I really like the layout of them. It’s clean and easy to understand. The Vue had the same stereo my truck does and for once I didn’t have to explain to my mom how to work it.

I haven’t noticed any in and out with mine after I fixed the loose aux jack that caused the right speakers to only work sometimes. I’m never on the radio so I cant comment on that.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 07/01/2017 at 13:14

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On both of our 1500's, 2500's, amd 3500 sometimes the back speakers stop working, even with an auxiliary cord. Our Trailblazer and Impala did this too after 100k miles.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 07/01/2017 at 13:45

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If it was solely on aux, I’d be positive it’s because the jack got partially broken loose from the board like what happened in my truck. Just normal radio though I have no idea what would cause that, I’ve never noticed it in any of our GM cars. Well, except the Safari but god knows what caused that.

Nobi > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 07/01/2017 at 14:23

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It’s so people could brag about having a V8 while their car is motionless thanks to the glass 4T65-E HD transmission.

Tapas > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 07/02/2017 at 03:15

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Wow they really captured the whole “big vagina” look.